Prep yourself, or don't?
January we decided to address the age old idea of coming up with a plan to prepare for the year ahead. I wanted to take the idea of prepping for service, and parlay it into our everyday lives, but the truth is forgetting a dish on a table is really easy to replace when you’ve set up for service. Running back to the service station to grab a spoon for a guest makes fixing that mistake simple. In life, we can’t always plan and prep for its changes, mistakes and slip ups. Emotions can get the better of us, lack of sleep can tire us out, situations that are out of our control can rock the boat. So how do we prepare ourselves?
We hosted two events in January, one in London and one in Edinburgh. We used this theme ‘Prep Yourself’, and through these events, what I learned was that it’s not about planning for every moment of your life ahead, it’s about preparing your mental self to be strong and calm for when the plan changes.
Our first event took place at Mama Shelter with intuitive life coach, Pandora Paloma. I took time out the other week at home, poured myself a glass of wine, lit a candle and some palo santo (yes, yes I did because it’s the best) and I worked on the worksheet Pandora had given to those of us that attended her workshop; Mis En Place Your Life (if you missed it it’s here). What I created from that exercise was a road map to help me when I start to lose my way during those times of change. My friend Freddie and I call it spiralising. When the world just gets too much and the smallest thing sets you off and then before you know it you’re spiraling out of control (for me this can be copious amounts of drinking, compulsive shopping and lack of care for myself). That is what I want to avoid in 2020, and for years to come. With a bit of mental prep, creating a clear understanding of how I want to feel and what I want to achieve, has already made this year a lot simpler than the last.
Pandora Paloma
In Edinburgh, we heard from four women over dinner as part of our In Stories series. Twenty two of us dined at Leftfield for some really delicious food alongside some truly inspiring chat. All four women who spoke came to the conclusion that actually the best prep, can sometimes be no prep at all (hah). That it is best to be mentally prepared for things to go wrong. That means taking care of you - getting sleep, staying hydrated, making time for the things that make you happy and keep you balanced. There will be plenty of moments where a good shower cry is necessary. Don’t ever deny yourself a shower cry (walk-in fridges, dry storage and toilets are also okay), but taking better care of your mental wellbeing might make those a bit less frequent. We also discovered, you should be prepared to try something new! Step out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to fail. My absolute favourite podcast at the moment has got to be ‘How to Fail’ with Elizabeth Day, where Elizabeth interviews influential people on their failures and how they have helped them succeed. I could not agree more. Failing is the best.
Speaking to the room at Leffield in Edinburgh, 28 January 2020
It’s funny to me, 8 years ago on this day (1 February) I landed in London. I had spent the last 7 years in New York, and I was convinced London was where I needed to be. I slept on my friend Olga’s sofa far longer than her and her flatmate wanted me too. It took me about 3 weeks to find a job, 3 months to find a flat. I had little to no money, two friends and no idea about the London restaurant scene. I wanted to move off the floor and I had no idea how, and I just kind of threw myself into London life. Here I am all these years later, now living in Margate (not the plan, conisdering I think London is the best city in the world) and absolutely loving it. I work for myself (never crossed my mind to do that, thought it was impossible, although sometimes it can still feel that way). I found a partner who I can have late nights, long adventures and serious talks with, quite soon after my marriage ended (totally was not expecting that). And I am now learning how to combat my extreme highs and lows, by being kinder to myself. None of my life in the UK was planned, I just winged it. In hindsight, I could have made some better decisions, and the drama - oh I love me a bit of drama - hopefully has started to curb itself a bit. But it’s from my slip ups I landed where I am today. No doubt I will fall over again, just this time I might know how to mend my wounds a bit better.
Me, somewhere on Fulham Road, February 2012
I have made a prep list for 2020 that will keep my mental wellbeing in check and lead me to where I want to be. I would encourage you to do the same :)
xx
Natalia
PREP LIST 2020
Meditate more - 3 x a week
Check my phone less - that means less time on Instagram for no reason at all.
Do something to exercise my body 3 x a week
Comparison is the devil
Forgive myself for something I feel guilty about for no reason at all.
Treat myself to one thing each week. Eg. A walk on the beach, my favourite pastry, a spa day, face mask in the bath.
Breathe when things start to go wrong.
Digital detox 1x a month (aim for 2)