Life Lessons from RuPaul's Drag Race by Natalia Ribbe
If you, like me, have spent A LOT of time in front of your screen, than you are likely to have started watching or re-watching a series. For me, this has meant hours and I mean HOURS (12 hours in one day - say what!) in front of the TV watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.
I am not an amateur Drag Race fan, I’m a huge fan of Bianca Del Rio, Adore Delano, Valentina, Sasha Velour, Shea Coulee and Miss Vanjie, Miss VANJIE, Miss VANJIE (if you know, you know), but now I would consider myself a bit of an expert/addict. The latest UK Drag Race is my weekly treat (Lawerence Cheney for the win! Or Tayce…or Awhora…or Bimini! UNITED KINGDOLLS!)
All joking aside, RuPaul’s competition show has given me a lot of food for thought. So here is my list of top tips and one liners these drag superstars have given me.
Confidence is key - you might be wearing the worst outfit on the runway, but you gotta sell it (thank you Tia Kofi for weekly lessons in this - I LOVE YOU!). I have been in meetings time and time again where I felt like what I was saying was garbage. Or at a party, feeling like what I was wearing made me look like a loser, I didn’t belong there! But it’s all about how you sell it, not just to the audience, but to yourself! You have to believe that what you have is amazing - because if you don’t believe it, nobody else will.
Don’t overthink things - Oh my goodness, how much time I have spent questioning something, going back and forth and then finally doing it and having a positive outcome. So stop second guessing yourself and just get on with it! Get out of your own head! Tell your inner saboteur to go away!
Speak up when something doesn’t sit right with you - Watching some of these episodes where a queen doesn’t speak up for what she knows is right, usually lands them in the bottom and on their way home. If you see something that isn’t right, if you are being treated unfairly, if you know something is happening at work that is wrong - SPEAK UP!
Silence can be golden, keep your head down and don’t get involved where you are not needed - On the other end of the speak up spectrum, there is a time and a place to keep your head down and mind your own business. People will talk, people will trigger you (sometimes on purpose) and you have to rise above and keep on moving. Don’t get involved where your energy is not needed.
Community is key. The drag community is strong, but they are not all the same. You might be a comedy queen, a pageant queen, a fashion queen - they all find each other, they all stick together. Find the community that is right for you :)
Be proud of who you are, what you are and where you are. You are exactly where you need to be in this very moment.
Let your whole body talk - I know that body confidence isn’t always something we talk about in this community, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t suffer from body confidence on the regular. I cannot tell you how incredible a woman’s body is - NO MATTER WHAT shape or size - and watching these grown men stuff and tuck to look like US has been one of the biggest confidence boosters of them all. I have never looked ay my thighs and my butt with such admiration, until Eureka said something along the lines of ‘When I am a man I am fat and ugly, when I am dressed as a woman I am a curvacious vixen.’
You’re a winner baby! Just in case you forgot.
Don’t be afraid to show off. It’s ok to be good, even GREAT at something.
Sometimes we’re not ready, and that is ok. We can go away, do more work, and come back. So many queens leave the competition because they are not ready for it yet. It doesn’t mean they give up, it’s just not their time. We’re all on a journey, everything you’re going through is making you a strong and incredible person.
People are going to throw shade, and it doesn’t matter what they think about you - it’s all about what you think about you!
Wave that freak flag - you are a freak. Embrace it.
Life, career, friends, relationships - they are not easy, they involve practice, learning from mistakes and getting off your butt and doing something! So in the words of the great RuPaul; I have one thing to say, YOU BETTER WORK!
And last, but certainly NOT least - IF YOU CAN’T LOVE YOURSELF, HOW IN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE! Can I get an amen up in here!